Self Portraits during lockdown 2020
Behind the scenes. Sorry to spoil the illusion.
Many lessons have been learnt during the 2020 Covid-19 lockdown. Many of them have been about how we’ve taken many everyday liberties for granted. Our ability to go where we liked, when we liked, with whomever we liked and how we liked, for example.
For a photographer and short film maker like myself, travel and work go hand in glove, and for that to be, quite rightly, taken away from most of us, it’s been a rather large culture shock.
The week the UK was officially put on lockdown, I was due to do two days of film interviews, followed by a couple of days filming the action scenes a week later to add to the interviews. I’ve been fortunate to be able to have a fairly positive outlook throughout the lockdown, but every now and then, even I have a wobble about the future. Luckily, the client I was due to do work for that week is completely understanding, as they’re in the same boat. But I can’t wait to get back on it and create an amazing project for them as soon as we’re allowed.
So what’s a photographer to do? At home, with plenty of equipment at my disposal, but no client I can produce things for… I need to keep those creative juices flowing, I need to create. It’s not just a job, it’s a vocation, a calling. There’s only so much YouTube one can watch, be amazed and inspired by, before you actually start to doubt your own abilities.
Time to get the kit out and do the un-thinkable…
I don’t and never have considered myself photogenic. Whenever a photo opportunity is muted, I’m usually the one suggesting that, as I’m a photographer and not that relevant to the group shot, perhaps I should take it. Failing that, I’ll probably be the one hidden from view at the back of a group. But these are strange times indeed and creative needs must be sated.
Taking a photograph of yourself can pretty much be put into one of two categories. Firstly, you take out your phone, take a shot and wring it through a couple of filters before sharing it with the world on ‘The Gram’. Secondly, you set and frame a scene, compose, craft and measure the light, then once in position, trigger the shutter on your camera before putting it through Lightroom and Photoshop. Then you release it to the world on ‘The Gram’ but you also might have reason to use it on your blog or maybe an article for a magazine…
Now portraits are tricky. Some of the best known portraits in the world are taken by photographers of celebrities. And because the subject in the photo is a celebrity, quite a lot of the time, that’s all there is in the frame. White background, beautifully lit, with a great personality in front of the camera in black and white… winner winner, chicken dinner. But if I were to put myself, Joe Nobody, against a white background, well lit, black and white conversion… Meh! So what?
In which case, this is an excellent opportunity to get creative. Have some fun, design a scenario for you to be there. Maybe it’s time to let people see you in a different light? If so, this is the moment to do that. No creative brief from an agency, editor or client, just you and your imagination. Which is how I ended up commandeering our living room one Friday during the lockdown and set up my lighting kit to create an interesting portrait of me, in an unremarkable location.
A few months ago I put some of my older images up social media to see what styles garnered the most interest. The images where I’d really controlled the amount of light hitting the subject, combined with areas where I’d withheld light, or controlled the spill, attracted more ‘likes’ and comments than others. So there was my base line. Create a portrait where the control of spill was just as important as the light on the subject.
Now this and some of my other work won’t be to everyones taste. Although I’ll happy ensure highlights are not blown out, I’m not afraid to let a black be black. I don’t believe that all shadows need rescuing. But, if there’s an element within the shadows that will give the image depth, then that should be lit and controlled to ensure relevance to the overall shot.
Again, just before lockdown here in the UK (I know, my timing is impeccable), I’d picked up some lighting equipment from the excellent people at The Flash Centre, in Birmingham. I’d treated myself to an Elinchrom ELB500 dual head kit, with a couple of Phottix modifiers.
Now, before we go any further, let me just say this. This shoot isn’t about the equipment. I’m using this equipment because it’s what I’ve got, not because it’s a requirement to get a good self portrait. I’ve been taking photos and shooting video for more years than is healthy to look back on and I’ve only just bought some new lights… Before that, I’d rent kit I wanted or needed to use. If I didn’t need it, I didn’t spend money on it. If you’ve got some cheap reflectors from an online shop, or even if you’ve made some yourself, you have the ability to shape light more than with nothing at all. If you’ve got a speed light or a cheap LED light, you’ve added so many options to your repertoire, you could keep yourself busy for months. Use what you’ve got, or rent something if you think it’ll add to your idea. Back to the post.
The image I decided to use as reference was one I’d taken of a hair model a few years ago. It was a location shoot in a cocktail bar in London. There was an awesome chesterfield sofa we used, set against a fake ‘library’ wall. I’d lit that with a large beauty dish with grid, and that was it. This time around, I’d set up a large modifier with a grid on above me and a second light with a gridded deep octa just in front to lift some of the shadows and put detail back into the dark chair I’d be sitting in.
My Nikon D850 has built in wi-fi ability, so using the Nikon Snap Bridge app, I was able to check my position in the frame, set the shutter speed and aperture and fire the shutter with a 5 second delay to enable me to hide the phone from the shot. It took a couple of adjustments of the key light to get a nice controlled spread, then I was able to add the fill light just to remove some of the unsightly shadows my nose and chin would cause.
When you’re a photographer like me, you don’t have a team of assistants to set equipment up. When you’re a photographer like me, you don’t usually have one assistant. So more often than not, I can be found wearing jeans and a black t shirt, because who wants to ruin good clothing crawling around the floor making cables safe? But in the photo I’m referencing, our model is wearing a dapper sports jacket and shirt, so maybe I should dress up a bit too. For a self portrait, it’s not a bad idea to step out of our normal, in fact its a rather good excuse.
If, like me, you decide to change things up with your wardrobe or location, try and get the small details right too. Get that tie knot just right, shine those shoes, don’t forget the pocket square and perhaps a lovely analogue wristwatch to complement. Not all the little additions needs to be front and centre, but they will add to the overall presentation of the image. This is probably demonstrated better in the second location set up. More on that in a bit. Also, don’t forget about your location. This shot was set against my bookshelves in my living room. But looking at the shelves as they are in real life, there are a few book spines that I thought were a little too bright for the look I was trying to create. All it took was a small rearranging of a few books and the scene was improved. Add a classic Polaroid SX-70 into a small space on a shelf, and the scene spoke of both class and taste.
Shadows are almost as important as the spread of light.
Personal torture aka, The Headshot
Once I was happy with the look of the full length seated shot, it was time to really make myself uncomfortable. The headshot. Yes, if it wasn’t agonising enough to do a self portrait in the first place, I thought it would be a good idea to raise the ante and get in close for a headshot.
Whereas with the seated shot I’d used a 24-70 lens, I felt the headshot needed something to elevate the image, because trust me, my face isn’t going to do that on it’s own. The Nikon 85mm f1.4 is possibly my favourite lens ever for people photos. There’s a certain creaminess to the images and the depth of field and bokeh is something I’ll never get bored of experiencing. It’s great for focussing the viewers eye on the subject, ensuring the background isn’t the point of interest for the shot.
The other method employed to ensure focus on the subject, was to use the Elinchrom beauty dish with a grid as the key light and lift the background with a second head with just a gridded reflector. Both these light options are great to control light direction and avoid viewing distraction.
After a bit of tidying up small distractions and grading in Photoshop, I’m quite pleased with the results (seen at the top of this post). The model doesn’t help, but in times of hardship, we make do…
But wait. Not content with putting myself through the torture of getting in front of my own camera in the privacy of my own home, I thought to myself, ‘Let’s do it some more, but this time, let’s do it in full view of anybody walking past my house…
It occurred to me that some people might not have an ‘interesting’ backdrop in their home, or maybe they don’t have the opportunity to have that space to themselves. So what about somewhere outdoors? As we were in lockdown, I couldn’t take my equipment far, so the least distance I could travel from my home, must surely be outside the house, in front of my garage.
I mentioned earlier, that black and white portraits against a clean white background, when executed well, are both captivating and timeless. But there’s usually a reason for such simplicity. Maybe it’s because the person is so well known, context isn’t required. Maybe the point of the image is to showcase a hairstyle, beauty technique or a fashion range. Typically though, the clean lines of the garment, flawlessness of skin or texture of the hair, is all that’s required to make the image so immersive. A portrait of me then, would probably require context, a story even…
The Mini made its debut in 1959 and ever since it has been an icon in its own right. Owned by royalty, rock and film stars, supermodels and probably at least one person in your own family at some point in their life. There’s no mistaking a Mini and on its own, it’s able to exude style and a feeling of fun and accessibility.
Squaring up my Mini in front of the garage took almost as much time as getting the shot itself. Again the lighting was two Elinchrom ELB 500s’, one with a large umbrella softbox and the other with reflector and grid. The car looked good, the lighting was right, it was now time to create ‘the story’. I’d decided as my little car is so cool, I’d try and create a 60’s feel about the shot. Grading would do some of that, but as I was going to be in the shot, I’d need a little styling consideration too. I opted for dressing in a grey 3 piece suit, with blue shirt. To give the look the right feel for the era, I used a dark waffle knit tie, and for accessories I got hold of some retro looking driving gloves, an analogue chronograph watch and some metal rimmed Ray Ban sunglasses.
Looking at the two images from the shoot, the accessories might not be front and centre, but those small details add to the overall composition I was going for.
The shot of me standing outside the car is a composite. Using one light at a time, I took a series of images, lighting different aspects of the scene and car, to give a final result. The camera was fired again using the Nikon Snapbridge software. I was able to check I was happy where I’d placed the light for each component shot on my phone screen before moving onto the next frame. In Photoshop I was the able to select the components I wanted in the final composite by using layers and layer masks.
What conclusions can I draw from this experience / experiment? Firstly, it would appear that age has not lessened my hatred of being in front of a camera. I watch YouTube, look at some amazing creators on Instagram, and they’re all so outgoing, confident and incredibly enthusiastic in front of the lens. Extrovert, I am not. But, I did manage to overcome my fears, challenge my self image and created some pictures that didn’t exist until that weekend.
I can’t say I’d rush to put myself in the same situation again, but I think it was worth doing for two reasons. Firstly, during these strange days, there’s only so much online ‘inspiration’ we can digest without actually ‘doing’ something to solidify our new knowledge. Secondly, it’s amazing what we, as image creators, can make with so much liberty being taken from us. Creativity is a gift we should all employ as often as we can. Whether you do it to make a living, make a little money on the side or just because of the sheer enjoyment and relaxation of doing something ‘crafty’, you shouldn’t need a pandemic to make something. Photograph, film, draw, paint, sing, dance. Whatever you feel you would like to do, have a go and don’t be embarrassed at showing your creativity. What I learned about setting up a photo shoot on my driveway in full view of passing foot and vehicle traffic is this: Nobody cares. People may look on their way past, it may even become a conversation starter between those people, but what they won’t do is think you’re an idiot. When you upload those creations for the world to see, it may even become a talking point as people acknowledge that they were there when you were dong it. “Until you see how it’s done, you’d never know how important light position is.” - that’s one of the comments I received after releasing the film of me creating the in car portrait.
Feels good when people recognise that you’ve clearly studied and trained hard to create a ‘pic’ doesn’t it.
Stay safe friends.
Neil.
