I’ve just watched a YouTube video by Peter McKinnon and I’m not ashamed to admit it brought a lump to my throat. It was an end of year achievement video that explained how through a tonne of effort, Peter is no longer ‘just a YouTuber’ as he’s just completed a major car brand advertising campaign on multiple media platforms.

For those who don’t know Peter, he’s an incredibly talented YouTuber, creator, and educator and I don’t think anyone can deny, that his incredible success stems from the amount of hard work he puts into his business.

2020 and the words ‘Hard Work’, I think we can all agree, are ideal bedfellows. As someone who tries to work in the creative sphere, 2020 I think has thrown up a multitude of questions… Various lockdowns have strangled projects and concepts, especially as travel was what inspired me most. Visiting foreign lands and meeting the people were what I thrived on. But as we stumble towards the end of this most wretched of years, my usual end of year practice of reflecting on where I am and where I want to be creative wise, maybe takes on a renewed significance. And I’m willing to bet it does for a lot of you too.

I’m approaching 50, (I know, I look amazing for it yes? Moisturiser sweetie) and I think I’m allowed to say that with age comes certain wisdoms. To be honest, my new found realisations are probably long overdue for someone of my age, but there we go. I’m convinced my school teachers questioned if I was a bit dim sometimes and I dare say various therapists or psychoanalysts could have a field day with me… Not today though therapy couch!

As a creative, trying to please other people is not only a recipe for disaster, mediocrity at best, it’s also a fast track way to self inflicted stress. For far too many years, I’ve been trying to create work that wouldn’t offend people… “Hi, I’m Neil, please like me!”

What the actual fresh hell have I been thinking? It’s a commonly heard phrase, that if you’re not offending someone, you’re doing it wrong. Obviously, I’m not talking about seriously or criminally offending people like racism for example, but more getting people to question their or your own beliefs around certain ideas or subject material. Not everybody can or will like the work you create, or indeed you. So what? There’s 7.8 billion people on this planet and even if 99% of the population think you’re a dick, that still leaves 78 million people who think you’re the bees knees. As I write this, I only have 150 followers on Facebook, 66 subscribers on my YouTube channel and 160 followers on Instagram… so somewhere out there, there’s an awful lot of people who need to meet me! Bring in it people, let’s have a collective hug here, share the love.

Now, there’s some projects I’m doing that I’m very happy with. The creators series, where I interview and take a portrait of people in the creative industries brings me great pleasure. But not only pleasure, great inspiration too. Every time I interview an artist in their field, it gives me renewed vigour, to keep on creating. The feedback from them has been nothing but positive too (left myself wide open there haven’t I…), so as long as I can safely continue the series in the current climate, then I will.

I’m also shortly about to release a video and blog post about a couple of art print based projects. Unfortunately, they require me to travel to locations around the UK and as we stand, I’m not sure the authorities will entertain my reasoning that I’d be working on my own in quite desolate spaces. On a more positive note, capturing these images will be a lot more pleasant during spring and summer. So not too much of an issue in the grand scheme of things.

Travel images will of course, when we’re allowed, continue to be taken. However, looking back at my images, the ones that appeal most to other people and more importantly myself, are those almost stand alone images. The ones that look great as large scale art prints, rather than a general record of a place or travelogue. But who knows when that’ll happen?

Ok, back to the thorny issue of me becoming a scaredy cat.

When I really knew that photography was the thing I had to do with my life, certain photographers really made me sit up and think, “that’s what i want to do, I really want to make images like that”. Bob Carlos Clarke, Helmut Newton, Albert Watson, David Lachapelle, Ellen Von Unwerth & Steve Diet Goedde to name a few. If you know those names, you’ll know they all create edgy imagery, often sexy, but always with a powerful, usually female lead character. Not all of their work is that way. Obviously some clients can’t have such sexy drama, but I mean some of their work just stops you in your tracks. It makes you think, you know what, they don’t give a f*ck what other people think about their imagery. They all know they’re amazing at what they do and if some of the art offends a portion of the public, so what? Not their problem.

I did use to take such images as those described above, and I’d show them to you, but during a move or two, I’ve lost the external drive connectors, which are now obsolete… yeah, that long ago.

So what can we take away from my end of year ramblings? I think it’s this: 2020 has been a year that should give us all reason to reflect on who we are. What are we doing with our lives and are we being true with what makes us feel alive? For many many people, they’ll be able to say to themselves yes, they are where they want to be and they’re achieving what they want, without fear of whether other people approve or are jealous of what they’re doing. Not their problem. But for a few, myself included, as this hellish global situation starts to slowly right itself, we can and should, take this opportunity to maybe remember who and what we wanted to be. Age is a number, not a barrier. If you think you’ve got time to make a change later on, because this year the planets aren’t quite aligned as you’d like them to be, maybe you, as I have been, are deluding yourself.

You’ll never please everyone you encounter and not everyone will like you, however hard you try to be the person you think they want you to be. So from 2021 onwards, make that effort to be true to yourself. Although life is a marathon, not a sprint, nobody gets out alive. Somewhere, you have an expiry date, so try to make the most of whatever time you’ve been granted and really be honest with yourself with what makes you feel fulfilled.

Thank you. I’d like to accept the award for most clichés in one paragraph on behalf of all those who have had ideas but didn’t know how to express them without being clichéd…

Here’s wishing you a safe, happy and prosperous New Year. And if I haven’t offended you yet, please be patient, I’ll get round to you as soon as practicable.

Neil.